In the 10 years @Warehouse_Guy and I have been married, we have had 2 awful, terrible, no good years (which isn’t so bad). This was one of them. Fortunately, it wasn’t the kind of year where we were driven apart but closer together. Sure with challenges coming at us from seemingly every direction there were times we didn’t so much like each other but I believe we are stronger as a couple at the end than at the beginning. Not many men would be as strong considering all the bullshit that has surrounded me this year.
In some cases, I have been my own worst enemy and in others, the victim of circumstance. My hope is that the damage of this year does not spill over or have an impact on 2012. I am so very over “the year that shall not be named.”
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
~Romeo & Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
It has been difficult shedding a twitter name that I have been associated with for well over a year. I loathed to do it but some things become necessary. Many have asked why and while there is much that I will keep private, I will share that the lines of my professional life and my personal life became too blurred. It became too much of a persona. There is such a thing as something becoming too big. Plus there is just some incredibly unfortunate things happening that I want to be 100% disassociated. For those of you who really know me, I am still the same girl. New name, same great snark.
So the next question is about the new name, SpellsBadBarbie. It came about during a chat with a friend last week. For some reason, I couldn’t spell worth shit (maybe it was more an issue of typing because truth be told I am a phenomenal speller). Jokingly I said, “I’m Spells Bad Barbie tonight!” His reaction made me think it might work as a fun new twitter name since I had been struggling with this change for quite a few days. After mulling it over, a twitter account was born!
I’m not completely accustomed to the change yet but it’s been fun! And I’m so glad that so many of my friends are making the switch with me.
This entire year has been Plan B after Plan B. If I really sat and thought about it, I’m probably somewhere in the middle of the alphabet. It becomes challenging to look at the bright side when each side is covered in shit. I shouldn’t complain too much. I have a wonderful, supportive husband, a happy, healthy child and a great deal more that many would kill to have but when it rains it pours.
The part that most confuses me is the impact others have had on my life this year. For the most part, I am a good, honest person. I fuck it up from time to time like everyone else but I have never gone out of my way to make life hard on anyone else. There are people out there that take great joy in hurting others and this I will never understand. It takes too much energy to be that damn hateful. It does not improve your life any by being so spiteful.
Am I better at the end of this year than at the start? Even though it has been one of the worst years of my 35, I can honestly say… YES! I have learned a lot. More than I ever wanted. I have made some of the best friends. I have discovered more about myself and the strength I possess and the strength and courage that my partner possesses.
Would I like 2012 to be easier? FUCK YES!
“Fashion fades, only style remains the same.” ~ Coco Chanel
As I continue to build my wardrobe, I try to keep this thought in mind. I really have never been one to follow trends but lately I’m finding I am buying into a fashion trends. It is my desire to be considered someone with style ~ a classic style that is always in fashion. Most wouldn’t believe to hear that just a few years ago all I wore were turtleneck sweaters, jeans, and ballet flats or sneakers. The older I get the more I seem to care, the more effort I put toward the face I give the world.
Yesterday I was talking with some coworkers about the show Fashion Hunters on Bravo. On one episode a prison orange, parachute jump suit was brought into the consignment shop and the staff went nuts. I tipped my head and squished my face. While I recognize that fashion among wealthy New Yorkers and middle class Midwesterners is very different, I just couldn’t understand owning such an outrageous piece. It is incredibly dated (the current Donna Karan line for Neiman Marcus excluded. This collection seems to have much more of a tailored sophistication then past parachute collections.) and out of fashion quickly. While I am trying to take more of a “fearless fashion” approach, I am still a classic girl at heart.
I have spent so many years out of touch and out of style that I am trying desperately to harness too much at one time. My challenge to myself is to slow down and take the wise words of the impecible Miss Coco Chanel to heart.