Oh my poor neglected blog. I have been feeling a bit down in the mouth lately and have been avoiding everything but mostly myself. This has even effected my clothing choices. I’ve just been throwing on clothes… some days good but most days bad. There are even days I haven’t showered until late afternoon. It’s been bad. But I feel like I am finally taking back control of my life. For the first time in months I feel at peace with a lot of my bullshit which will help in the moving forward.
Armed with a cleaning routine, a daily activity plan, and a grocery list… I set out to kick Friday’s ass. And mostly, I feel as if I did. This whole cleaning routine will be a work in progress for me. A leopard can’t just change it’s spots to stripes! So I dressed like I meant it…
This is 100% a Target outfit. Where is my endorsement deal?!?
Today was Lil’ A’s last day of preschool and honestly this was the first time I actually thought I was going to cry. All the registering for Kindergarten and testing was exciting but today was emotional for mama. My baby girl is going to be 5 years old in just over a month! It really does not seem possible.
On her first day this year, I snapped a photo and did the same today. Sigh.
I managed to keep it together simply because she was so excited to be finished and onto bigger things. We celebrated with lunch at her favorite restaurant, Steak ‘n Shake.
This never gets easier, does it?
I think I have finally become a desperate housewife.
When I originally became a SAHM, I had all these grand plans on getting organized for the first ever. We’ve been in our house almost 6 years and there are still boxes packed from 2 moves ago. Now that I have had more time than ever (this is the first time I have not had a job or 2 and/or been in school in nearly 20 years), I had hoped to clean and organize and have the home I’ve dreamed of living in.
5 months later…
Everything is still chaos, if not more so. I have never been the best housekeeper. I won’t lie and pretend otherwise. But now I’m so damn frustrated with the mess and disorganization that it’s time to force myself into a role I have never felt comfortable. Taking inspiration from Small Notebook, I have created a cleaning routine.
Kitchen clean-up: Wash dishes/wipe counters/sweep floor
General pick-up of downstairs
Monday: Laundry (1 load – whites), downstairs bath, litter box
Tuesday: Laundry (1 load – colors), upstairs bath
Wednesday: Laundry (1 load – darks), vacuum upstairs and stairway
Thursday: Menu plan and grocery list, monthly/seasonal job
Friday: Bedroom clean-up, grocery shop
Clean out car
Clean out fridge
Dust/wipe down walls/wash windows
Donate – go through closets and toys for items to donate
My hope is that this plan will help me feel less overwhelmed with the workload around the house and finally get me to the goal of feeling more organized at home. And really, what’s an hour a day? I’ve waste tons of time on things that don’t make me feel good so why not dedicate time to something that will help my mood. Once the house feels more clean and organized, I can then focus on simplifying.
I’m off to menu plan and create a grocery list then clean out my car!
I should have this tattooed on my body somewhere. It had been my hope that this time off would help me break this horrible habit but alas, I think it has only made it worse. Having more time only means I can push things off more and then I just panic.
Why do I stress myself out?
I have always found that the stress was a motivator. It makes me feel alive in a way that completing a task ahead of time never has. My best work has always been done right on the edge. Now that I have nothing quite so pressing, I am missing that tension in my gut, that feeling of motivation. I want to feel alive again.
This describes Lil’ A perfectly. My almost-5-year-old is the size of a pixie but she has a huge personality! My hope for her is that her wit and humor and compassion guide her. I hope she explores the world with an open mind and reserves her toughness for times of adversity.
Please let my girl be fiercely loyal and loving, fierce in her style, and fiercely protective of her values.