K and I have been married 11 years. Actually it will be 11 years this Saturday. We meet in December of 1999 and for him it was love at first sight. I took some convincing. I kid. I’m still not convinced. *giggle*
All joking aside, we were engaged after 8 months and then married a year later. Like all couples, we have had our good and bad times. More good than bad. Currently we are going through a challenging time but not to our relationship. The 2 years we spent in marriage counseling had a huge impact and our tough relationship times are far more easily weathered. We learned how to talk to each other in a way that will get through the bullshit. From time to time we forget how to do this but there is always an apology attached to an expression of emotion. I am married to the most emotional man on earth, one who has very little trouble sharing how he feels. I can be the one that is more closed off.
Even when times are tough, it is comforting to know that this one person is always going to be there for me. He never judges me or criticizes me. He gets me especially when no one else does.
Lately the overwhelming stress of life with one income has been weighing on us. Unfortunately, we have allowed it impact us separately rather than coming together as a couple. Honestly, I believe we both thought this would be over by now. We had a great talk last week. A very frank conversation about the expectations we have for the other in our new roles and what we need from the other. We cried. We hugged. We made a deal.
So positive thinking goal 5 of 5…
We’ve lacked a connection lately by trying to emotionally navigate the quicksand as individuals and not as a couple. We have committed to each other to set aside 1 day a week as “cheap date night.” And by cheap I mean as close to free as possible. We need to talk more. We need to reignite the emotional intimacy between us that has been beaten up by the challenges we’ve stared down the past 18 months. I am excited by this and thrilled that my partner, my love, is as invested in me as I am in him.
K is one of the most intelligent, charismatic, interesting, and funny men I know. Spending time with him where I am his sole focus is thrilling, even after all these years. Perfect? Hell no. But he’s mine and I love him.
So… 5 think positive goals for the next 6 months. Fingers crossed that come February 2013 I am kicking ass and taking names.