A few months ago, Nikki suggested I create a Dream Board to help get me back on track. At the time, I was feeling pretty blue and lacking motivation. This idea really appealed to me but I didn’t act on it. It was a difficult year and I just couldn’t see a way out of the sadness I was feeling. Early December I finally found my happy again. I felt hopeful and excited about a few new prospects. All of this has spilled over into this new year and I think this is the perfect time to create my Dream Board.
Here are a few goals for the up coming year:
And the BIG one…
Every year for the last few we have hoped for a better go. We have simply had our fill of challenges as of late. I distinctly remember giving double birds to 2011 with high expectations for 2012. It was an up and down year, plagued with disappointments and feelings of uncertainty. While there was just overwhelming shit that was out of our control, I know my fragile emotional state played too much into the overall direction of the mudslide that was 2012. I can’t even gauge if it was worse or on par with 2011. All I know is that I’m reaching deep and hoping for the best.
It has always seemed somewhat silly to look to the change of the calendar for a fresh start, clean slate, et cetera et cetera. However, the start of this new year brings so many exciting changes for our little family that it is hard to resist those feelings of newness.
K begins a new job today. He is so excited, it’s like watching a kid prepare for the first day of school. He has worked so hard to earn this position and it brings many opportunities but also major changes to our home life. This job will require him to travel a great deal and as difficult as it has been for me to not work this last year, it ultimately has worked out for the best. With him gone, my need to be home has increased drastically and I am excited to be able to continue focusing on our family. His absences will have a profound effect on lil’ A and it will be so important for my focus to be on her.
I finally feel emotionally healthy enough to be more… more of a wife, a mother, a friend. The burdens that have been weighing me down this last year seem to have lifted and for the first time in year I feel happy and positive. This change in me is amazing and long overdo. I am ready to set and attain some major goals…
So for this year my goal is to focus on progress not perfection.
I have spent far too many years trying so damn hard to be perfect that I either kill myself getting to end point or I simply abandon the project. I’ve learned to forgive myself for my mistakes and failings and to trust my instincts. All my self doubt this past year has stifled who I am and I’m ready to be whole again. To be me.
Sometime ago my therapist encouraged me to focus on progress. At that time I was stressed about work and felt overwhelmed by the inaction of others and my overriding need to pick up the slack. I realize now that I never gave myself the chance to truly enjoy the journey and I’ll be damned if I don’t embrace this next year. I have the chance and the time now to explore my crafty interests, to better organize our home, to be more.
So cheers to the new year! I’m looking forward to planting, nurturing, and smelling the roses.
I always find it funny when someone who has never met me attempts to say they “know me.” How? There are many me’s to know.
If you follow me on Instagram, you probably know me as a gluttonous alcoholic.
If you follow me on Twitter, you probably know me as a napping, rage-filled narcissist.
If we are friends on FaceBook, you probably know me as someone’s mom.
If we are connected on LinkedIn, you probably know me as a Librarian.
If you follow me on WordPress, you probably know me as a wannabe fashionista who is obsessed with Pinterest.
If you follow me on Pinterest, you probably know me as a someone with multiple personalities.
You know me in snapshots. Small glimpses of who I really am because sometimes I am all of these and others I am not one. You know what I let you see and some of it may not even be true. And some of it is more true than I would ever admit.
Social media serves a great many purposes but the primary one is to make our world smaller, to connect us to each other in unprecedented ways. Personally, I have benefited a great deal from social media. I have made and cultivated real and lasting friendships with people I would never have met otherwise. I have connected with people locally that have become great resources. I have had more interaction with high school “friends” than I actually had in high school. While still working, I was able to connect with other professionals and share ideas. Social media makes the world and the internet more accessible. I might not know the answer but someone I am connected to will.
There of course is the flip side of social media. Taking these snapshots it is easy for us to pass judgement on what we see. “Oh, she posts photos of alcohol all the time so she must be an unreliable party girl.” Truth is I rarely drink. I go weeks without even a single glass of wine. However, if you don’t know me in real life it would be impossible for you to really KNOW that about me.
Today on twitter some guy has been calling out women as whores because of perceived flirtations. He has determined it as his personal mission to notify the husbands of these women that their wives are cheating whores. This man has taken his hurt and is channeling it into a form of McCarthyism. Are some of these women (and men for that matter) cheating? Possibly. Is it his place to play fidelity police? Hell no!
Also today, I received a snapshot of a tweet exchange between two librarians discussing whether or not they could be fired over twitter. Not only can you be fired for your use of social media, you can be refused employment due to social media. Yes they can fire you and they can bend their policy any which way they want. The law on social media in the workplace is still so new and so 50 shades of gray that it is not on your side as the employee. Employers actively seek out what you are doing online before they hire you and after. You want a job working with children? It might not be a good idea to have those photos of you topless at that last kegger before graduation. And if you think you are anonymous, think again. Someone will piece just enough information together to jack up your life. Is it the place of your employer to spy on what you are doing and saying unrelated to your job performance? I don’t believe so. It’s a snapshot. It’s not a complete chapter.
Should you be careful what you say, do, and who you let into your social media sphere? Absolutely! By no means are my comments here an excuse for you to commit criminal acts and post it all over YouTube. My assertion is that normal, acceptable behavior on social media should not be used to condem individuals until more is known or understood. Should I grant an interview to the girl who worked as a Budweiser girl? Just because I found it on FaceBook does not me she isn’t qualified for the job. Are we making assumptions based on enough facts or a sliver of information that might give us initial pause?
Having been a victim of social media on several fronts during the past year, I will say that the community I have built in cyberspace has been more supportive and loyal than some of the people who have known me in real life for many years. Some might have urged me to walk away completely but without them I might not have gotten through some of the darkest days. Now with the connections I have through my online family and friends, I am building a new dream and they are helping me make it a reality.
In the end, I urge you not to use what you read in post to indict someone. Really know them before forming an opinion or just block them and move on.
Disclosure: This post is a year in the making and stems from personal experience, observation, and informal research.
I have been horribly neglectful of my blog lately. There has been a ton going on the last few weeks that have caused me to be a touch more introverted but I feel like I am finally breaking out of the need to hide under the covers.
There are a few projects that need my attention so I’m hoping to chronicle them here. Also, I’ve started a part-time season gig at a department store and I should definitely start posting what I’ve been wearing. It’s been fun dressing up again.
I really need to learn how to become a housewife but all the role models flip tables and dress like strippers.
What’s a girl to do?
Next month we will mark 6 years in our house. This is the longest we have lived in one place during our 11 years of marriage. We are happy here and I hate the thought of ever moving. One of the few negatives with the home has always been the front stoop. Stoop is the wrong word. We had a front slope. The concrete sunk away from the house. We probably could have negotiated it to be repaired in the contract but we were getting a helluva deal and didn’t want to press our luck (plus after looking at 20+ houses and having 2 houses slip through our fingers, we were ready to be done).
Adding a front porch has been top of our list of home improvements and thanks to my amazing father-in-law, that item can be crossed off!
There are a few finishing touches still left to complete (lattice along the bottom, stain for the stairs) but now I can wait comfortably for the school bus to drop Lil’ A off after Kindergarten. I am in love, Love, LOVE! I’ve been scouring Pinterest for decorating ideas (stay tuned) and can’t wait to get crafty!
We made our first Craigslist purchase to furnish our porch. We scored a table and 2 chairs and while they are not an exact match, the $25 price tag was a steal! The chairs will be easy to paint if that’s what I decide.
I’m feeling reenergized to dive into to some other projects around the house!
I don’t know about you, reader, but I am beyond tired of political ads. Makes me almost wish we lived in Michigan where Romney has given up and pulled all his ads (almost). But it isn’t just the ads that have me feeling complete apathy toward the political process. The negativity coming from all sides makes me simply want to tune out.
For me, I know who I will cast my vote for come election day. Being undecided is simply not in my nature. Plus, the political process was deeply ingrained in me by my father. He was always one of the most informed voter (even though he always voted his party). The man, a steelworker by trade, read at least two newspapers daily and could have interesting discourse on any world event or current topic. On my 18th birthday, he called me in sick to school and took me to register to vote (and then to the Any Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh which I had been dying to visit). My dad impressed upon me the civic responsibility of not only voting but of being a responsible voter. And for that I am truly grateful.
I just wish that leading up to election day that the candidates and their supporters would focus more on issues and policy rather than personal attacks. It distracts from what is truly important and attempts to make the election a popularity contest reminiscent of our high school days.
So that is why for the next few weeks I will be tuning out the verbal diarrhea spewing from all sides and focusing on a campaign that really matters…
Which are you?
I had an interview today for a part-time, seasonal position so I hit my style board on Pinterest for a little inspiration…
Nail polish ~ Fast Track by China Glaze & Tangerine Crush by L’Oreal
Braided belt ~ Apt. 9 from Kohl’s, Clearance
Coral ruffled blouse ~ Target
White cardigan ~ The Limited, Thrifted
Khaki pencil skirt ~ Target, Clothing swap
Black & white striped ballet flats with tan bow ~ JustFab.com
Silver drop earrings ~ Maurice’s
Assorted bangle bracelets ~ Tiffany, Forever 21, Maurice’s
The interview went well and my fingers are crossed. I like the idea of working part-time to help fill the holes in the budget yet still having time with Lil’ A during the day.
I really need to get back into the habit of blogging daily. Missing a day or several makes me sad and filled with guilt. I think I’ve been avoiding posting because I feel I should be more accountable of my fitness goals here. Maybe I’ll join Nikki in posting a Fitness Friday entry even if this was a bad week. Fortunately, I’ve simply maintained my weight loss from the last two weeks. Sigh.
Positive thinking goal 3 of 5 is already underway. For the first time, I really do feel positive about getting my eating and exercising on track. In March of 2011, I started seeing an acupuncturist and nutritionist. There were many wonderful things about my 6 months under his care but it was incredibly frustrated. Part of my treatment required me to keep a food log in an effort toward a clean diet. I was to cut wheat and sugar due to an intolerance and switch to all natural, all organic everything. Every week I was chastised about something. Don’t eat this. Don’t eat that. Things I thought would be on the approved list were bad and vice versa. By the time I got it all figured out I was almost afraid to eat anything.
My super clean diet and exercise did help me lose 25 lbs and feel better than I ever have as an adult but there was nothing positive about the process. I was miserable and once a few huge stresses entered my life, everything I had worked on fell apart.
So now I am committed to…
I’m making better choices and moving and seeing results far quicker than before. I’m not hungry all the time like I was and I don’t feel as if I’m sacrificing everything I love to eat. I’m learning about portion sizes and eating snacks. But the major difference is that I have the support of a good friend to get me through the tough parts. Plus K is also making the same changes and we are able to encourage each other.
I know that getting fit will help me with my other goals by giving me the confidence and energy to face each challenge head on!
Tomorrow… I think positive about getting involved.