This entire year has been Plan B after Plan B. If I really sat and thought about it, I’m probably somewhere in the middle of the alphabet. It becomes challenging to look at the bright side when each side is covered in shit. I shouldn’t complain too much. I have a wonderful, supportive husband, a happy, healthy child and a great deal more that many would kill to have but when it rains it pours.
The part that most confuses me is the impact others have had on my life this year. For the most part, I am a good, honest person. I fuck it up from time to time like everyone else but I have never gone out of my way to make life hard on anyone else. There are people out there that take great joy in hurting others and this I will never understand. It takes too much energy to be that damn hateful. It does not improve your life any by being so spiteful.
Am I better at the end of this year than at the start? Even though it has been one of the worst years of my 35, I can honestly say… YES! I have learned a lot. More than I ever wanted. I have made some of the best friends. I have discovered more about myself and the strength I possess and the strength and courage that my partner possesses.
Would I like 2012 to be easier? FUCK YES!