Setting goals 2013 style

New year 2013

Every year for the last few we have hoped for a better go. We have simply had our fill of challenges as of late. I distinctly remember giving double birds to 2011 with high expectations for 2012. It was an up and down year, plagued with disappointments and feelings of uncertainty. While there was just overwhelming shit that was out of our control, I know my fragile emotional state played too much into the overall direction of the mudslide that was 2012. I can’t even gauge if it was worse or on par with 2011. All I know is that I’m reaching deep and hoping for the best.

It has always seemed somewhat silly to look to the change of the calendar for a fresh start, clean slate, et cetera et cetera. However, the start of this new year brings so many exciting changes for our little family that it is hard to resist those feelings of newness.

K begins a new job today. He is so excited, it’s like watching a kid prepare for the first day of school. He has worked so hard to earn this position and it brings many opportunities but also major changes to our home life. This job will require him to travel a great deal and as difficult as it has been for me to not work this last year, it ultimately has worked out for the best. With him gone, my need to be home has increased drastically and I am excited to be able to continue focusing on our family. His absences will have a profound effect on lil’ A and it will be so important for my focus to be on her.

I finally feel emotionally healthy enough to be more… more of a wife, a mother, a friend. The burdens that have been weighing me down this last year seem to have lifted and for the first time in year I feel happy and positive. This change in me is amazing and long overdo. I am ready to set and attain some major goals…

So for this year my goal is to focus on progress not perfection.

I have spent far too many years trying so damn hard to be perfect that I either kill myself getting to end point or I simply abandon the project. I’ve learned to forgive myself for my mistakes and failings and to trust my instincts. All my self doubt this past year has stifled who I am and I’m ready to be whole again. To be me.

Sometime ago my therapist encouraged me to focus on progress. At that time I was stressed about work and felt overwhelmed by the inaction of others and my overriding need to pick up the slack. I realize now that I never gave myself the chance to truly enjoy the journey and I’ll be damned if I don’t embrace this next year. I have the chance and the time now to explore my crafty interests, to better organize our home, to be more.

So cheers to the new year! I’m looking forward to planting, nurturing, and smelling the roses.

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